The weather seems to fit my mood today.
Its been rainy, dreary and Dark. Just one of those blah days.
This is not version one of today’s blog, the first one was a mess, and was filled with a lot of hurting, this one, not so much.
I am having a very hard time being home from Cocoa, and have been really depressed for the past week.
I sent a text to Hannah earlier, and asked her (paraphrasing) “Am I a bad person if I have the overwhelming urge to rid myself of all things that remind me of them?”
I am thankful for friends like Hannah, who understand and don’t judge, but in their own little ways show me Christ. Saying, “Its okay to feel hurt, I know you and I love you anyways.”
Hannah just text me something I will never forget.
I told her she is too good to me.
Hannah in all of her loveliness, wrote me back these words.
“No, I treat you how you deserve to be treated.”
She gives me hope, that there are still people out there who care for the broken hearted.
I am constantly reminded that there is so much to fight for, I’m glad for these reminders, and to someone, some where, I hope I am a reminder.
“You gotta swim, Swim when it hurts .The whole world is watching You haven't come this far To fall off the earth…. I swim to brighter days, despite the absence of sun… You gotta swim, Swim in the dark… Just keep your head above.”
1 comment:
I like your authenticity. I myself have considered whether or not I should disclose certain things on the blog for all to see. It's hard to be vulnerable on here, man. But I definitely appreciate that you are not afraid to have "blah days" and are open and honest about your feelings. I think as Christians we try way too hard to make it look like we always have a smiley face on and we are overflowing with joy and not a problem in the world. wrong.
This life is filled with suffering.
So, I hope we can talk more on these matters soon .. as you are my triad sister... I know for certain having you in my triad will be a very very great thing.
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