Day 11: You Gotta Swim. Swim when it Hurts.

The weather seems to fit my mood today.

 

 Its been rainy, dreary and Dark. Just one of those blah days.

This is not version one of today’s blog, the first one was a mess, and was filled with a lot of hurting, this one, not so much.

I am having a very hard time being home from Cocoa, and have been really depressed for the past week.

I sent a text to Hannah earlier, and asked her (paraphrasing) “Am I a bad person if I have the overwhelming urge to rid myself of all things that remind me of them?”

I am thankful for friends like Hannah, who understand and don’t judge, but in their own little ways show me Christ. Saying, “Its okay to feel hurt, I know you and I love you anyways.”

Hannah just text me something I will never forget.

I told her she is too good to me.

Hannah in all of her loveliness, wrote me back these words.

“No, I treat you how you deserve to be treated.”

She gives me hope, that there are still people out there who care for the broken hearted.

I am constantly reminded that there is so much to fight for, I’m glad for these reminders, and to someone, some where, I hope I am a reminder.

“You gotta swim, Swim when it hurts .The whole world is watching You haven't come this far To fall off the earth…. I swim to brighter days, despite the absence of sun… You gotta swim, Swim in the dark… Just keep your head above.”

Day 10: Its deep and its Dark, and sometimes broken. Part. 1

I went and saw The Dark Knight (again) with my mom, sister, and Aunt. I love the movie, in many different ways. It has some of my favorite actors in it, and it reminds me to be true to myself, and not get lost in “The Act” When I say “The Act” I’m talking about how sometimes we get caught up in who we are trying to be, that we forget who we are, or who we ever were. 

I wonder sometimes, how much is too much to share on here, or to share with people.

I want to use my better judgment, but I also feel like I need to share.

Life it seems, gets hard, and then it gets harder.

I try to keep a quote from The Dark Knight in my mind at all times.

“The night is darkest just before the dawn. And I promise you, the dawn is coming.”

Happy moment of the day, is that my TOMS Documentary in the mail!!

Day 9: Play, Laugh, Grow.

Just got back from Kevin’s Surprise Birthday party, and it was a lot of fun. I haven’t been to a party in forever so it was fun getting to hang out and get to know people from Roots better.

This Balloon is Amazing!

We were decorating, and Mary mixed her breath and helium together, and it was AMAZING. It was like a zero gravity balloon! I wish I could have taken a video of it, it was beyond words!

I am so excited to get to know the people from Roots better. It’s been so long since I’ve had REAL friends and people I could trust and talk to. It takes a lot of work, and It’s nerve racking, but also a lot of fun.

I also wanted to say a big thanks to Maddy for texting with me last night. I needed you and you were there for me. Thanks my Love! Leaving and the reasons going to Cocoa and coming back and the feelings and hurts there has been really hard, but that’s another Blog. Thanks for being there for me!

Going to Visit my Aunt Tomorrow! Yay!

Day 8: Daddy here I am again, would you take me back tonight.

I love Fairy Lights.

They remind me of lighthouses, how they guide people home, when they are lost in darkness. I like to think about the Prodigal son in the bible. I imagine the story in a bible times/Laura Ingalls Wilder type setting. I Imagine that after his son left, the father would wait up later than normal each night, waiting and watching for his sons return. Then when he went to bed each night, he would light a lamp and stick it in the window, to shine a light to show his son the way home. I think of how God does this for us, making sure we can find our way home, when we are lost and in darkness.

At church tonight, they sang a song called “Gratitude”

I love the lyrics to this song, and each time I hear it, it humbles me. As children we are taught that God will provide, and then (I feel) we continue to try and rely on ourselves, and then get angry with God because he hasn’t given us what we want. I try to constantly remind myself that it is GOD’S plan, not Mine that is best. God only has three answers. Yes, No, and Not yet.

That is why these lyrics speak into my heart.

“Or maybe not, not today

Maybe You'll provide in other ways”

God will provide, maybe not in the way we want, but he WILL provide us with the things we need.

I have to go make cake now… I already have a subject for tomorrow… now to find the perfect picture!

Day 7: Let the Good times roll.

So its Friday, This means that its my weekly “hangout with the G-rents” day.

I love my grandparents house. They have this couch, it is THE Couch. They have had it for YEARS and it is my favorite place to sleep, so comfy, and smells like them.

Tonight has been a lot of fun. It has made me realize, that even if you think you “Know” someone, there are so many things to discover about other people.

My Paw Paw has been my Grandfather for 19 years, and I learned so many new things about him tonight. 1)He was in the ARMY. And 2) He Smoked a pipe when he was young!

My Neenee has been my Grandma for almost 16 Years. Tonight was the first night that I had ever seen a picture of her when she was a child and young adult. She had 12 Brothers and sisters! Looking at her picture’s from when she was a teen, let me tell ya, She is a Fox!I NEVER knew those things! About either one of my grandparents.

I think it amazing how many new things you can learn about people.
So I figured what the heck! What are some little known facts about you? Comment me! They can be funny or serious, or just plain old dorky.
Here two of mine:
1) I refuse to eat popcorn out of the microwave bag. I hate how it feels…Eww!

2) I have a love/hate relationship with Libraries. I currently have no library card… and neither does anyone else in my family, because of my library fines.

P.S. I SWEAR my Grandpa looks like Elvis!!

Day 6: We have so much to learn from the poor.

Today has been an all around amazing day. 

My doggie actually posed for a picture,

 which she NEVER does!

 I went to the Culinary Academy today. WOW, thats really all I can say, it is amazing there. I am scheduled to start in January '09. Its amazing the things they can teach you to create, and the places you can take it. 

Then, when I got home, I check my email, and I had an email from Caitlin, the Social Media Manager, from TOMS! I was and am seriously pumped. It reaffirms my statement that they are amazing people.

But even with all that, the  highlight of my day, was helping someone else. As simple as getting this man a meal, made him like everyone else, if only for a little while. I'll admit, I left TWLOHA because I felt like I was being called to help the homeless. Today I feel like I cam a little bit closer to that goal. For some reason, Homeless people scare me, but once I get to know them (like Mike and Paul) I'm fine. I was really afraid for the man today, he was sitting, actually sitting on the curb on Hwy 27. so we brought him some food, and it brought me to tears how thankful he was. I think he was in shock at first, and just said thank you and God bless over and over again. I can't imagine how he was feeling, or how hungry he was, he sat back down on the curb with a big smile in his face as we drove away. It hurts my heart that the "solution" that our towns have come up with, is to run the homeless out, not assist them. I am reminded of Brandt Russo and his arrest for not having "permission" to witness and live among them. What has our country been reduced to? I love Mother Teresa's story, and her words. 

"Look in the faces of the poor in the bustees, in the slums and you will see them smiling. They may have no food in their swollen bellies, no roof over their head, but whatever they have they will share with others who are poor like themselves. They are not alone because they have each other. We have so much to learn from the poor." 

 The next time we see someone who is homeless, lets not jump to conclusions, Lets not say, "they are only going to buy drugs or alcohol." Give them the benefit of the doubt, or go buy them a meal, or even better give them Mcdonalds Dollars. Personally, I am not a believer in seeing someone who is homeless, and (having $$ on me) refuse to give it to them/buy them a meal, but say hey it will get better, lets say a little prayer (Don't get me wrong, I believe in prayer. and if you don't have any $$ on you, this is a HUGE thing to do) and then say peace out! "and one of you tells them, "Go in peace! Stay warm and eat heartily." If you do not provide for their bodily needs, what good does it do?" - James 2:16 

May we all have the compassion of Christ.

 

"How far you go in life depends on you being tender with the young, compassionate with the aged, sympathetic with the striving and tolerant of the weak and the strong. Because someday in life you will have been all of these." - George Washington Carver.

Day 5: Happy Anniversary to Me! - Tom Ta Tom Tom Toms!

Today marks the 11th year that I have lived in Florida. Coincidently, I got my Toms in the mail today. 

Its like an anniversary present to myself!

TOMS is a really cool idea, and also really simple. The shoes, are taken from the favored footwear of Argentine peasants. 

 For every pair of shoes that they sell, they also give a pair away to a child somewhere in the world that doesn't have shoes.

I invite you to check out this interveiw with creator, Blake Mycoskie.

 http://www.treehugger.com/files/2008/09/the-th-interview-toms-1.php 

 also check out TOMS Website.  

www.tomsshoes.com/shoes.aspx

So here is to living here for 11 years, and cool shoes that make a difference, for someone other than just myself!!